Eh-eh, sweetness.
Bam-Bam Sally back. And Bam-Bam Sally got the tea.
Pull up a stool. Get yuh cassava bread. Settle in.
ITEM ONE: THE FPSO HELICOPTER GUEST LIST
Now. We all see the Kaieteur picture this morning of the Cabinet team on the ONE GUYANA FPSO. Ministers Bharrat, Walrond, Indar, Griffith, and Todd, all lined up, all smilin’, all wearin’ the matching little safety vests they make you put on when you visit a 250,000-barrel-a-day floating production vessel.
What the picture don’t show, what Bam-Bam Sally hearin’ from a third party who know somebody who know somebody, is who was supposed to be on that helicopter and didn’t make it. I am not callin’ names. I am not callin’ names. But certain Cabinet members who would have very much liked to be in that photograph somehow did not appear in that photograph. And the photograph went out anyway. With the people who did go.
Politics, sweetness. Politics.
Some helicopter manifests is more than just helicopter manifests. Some helicopter manifests is announcements.
ITEM TWO: THE FOUR POINTS OPENING
The Four Points by Sheraton officially opened — Newsroom carried the segment. New hotel. Investment. Ribbon. Smiles.
Bam-Bam Sally count the attendees from the photo coverage. I will not name names. But I will say this: certain prominent business families were prominently present, prominently smilin’, prominently gettin’ photographed next to the head table. And certain other prominent business families — who, if you look at the last big hotel opening, were also prominently photographed — were not present at this one.
Now. Bam-Bam Sally not sayin’ there is a falling-out. Bam-Bam Sally NEVER sayin’ there is a falling-out. But when one set of people show up at every photo opportunity and another set of people who used to show up at every photo opportunity suddenly not showing up, somebody had a phone call. And the phone call was not about the weather.
ITEM THREE: THE WENDY’S RIBBON CUTTIN’
President Ali himself officiated the Wendy’s openin’ ribbon-cuttin’ ceremony. Which on its face is a fast-food restaurant launch. Which on its face is no big deal.
But Bam-Bam Sally need to ask: why the head of state of an oil-producin’ nation in the middle of one of the most contested PSA debates in modern Caribbean history is personally cuttin’ the ribbon at a Wendy’s. And the answer, sweetness, is the same answer to every question: photo opportunity, photo opportunity, photo opportunity. The man cyaa pass up an apron. He cyaa pass up a giant scissor. He cyaa pass up a press release that include the word “spicy chicken.”
Mind you — the Frosty is good.
ITEM FOUR: DE DIASPORA AUNTIE INCIDENT
Now this is the real tea.
You remember in 2024 when a certain Auntie — who shall remain nameless because Bam-Bam Sally is a professional — sent down a whole suitcase of foreign-used clothes to her sister in Lethem. Whole suitcase. T-shirts, slippers, a winter coat (who askin’ for a winter coat in Lethem, sweetness, who?), a pair of jeans the size of a dining table, and seventeen pairs of socks.
The Auntie just call. From Queens. On WhatsApp. Today. April 28, 2026.
She say: “Where my receipt?”
The sister say: “Receipt for what?”
The Auntie say: “For the clothes I send. I sent them down two years ago. I want to know what you did with them.”
The sister say: “Auntie. The winter coat? I gave to the church. The jeans I cut up for floor rags. The socks I lost. The slippers fit me. The t-shirts I sleep in.”
The Auntie say: “That is not a receipt.”
Sweetness, the diaspora auntie demanding a receipt for foreign-used clothes she sent down in 2024 is the most Guyanese thing that happen this week. And we got a lot happenin’ this week.
ITEM FIVE: THE NGSA ENERGY
The whole country in NGSA mode. 15,000+ pupils, that’s what the Ministry of Education confirm. Every household with a 10–11 year old child has now entered a special state of consciousness where the parent is more nervous than the child, the grandmother is more nervous than the parent, and the child is sittin’ in the corner watchin’ TikTok and refusin’ to engage.
Bam-Bam Sally see a grandmother at the corner shop yesterday buyin’ a single bottle of glucose, two pencils, and a coconut. She pay. She look at the cashier. She say, with her whole chest:
“This for me grandson exam. He gonna do well. Watch.”
The cashier didn’t say anything. The cashier just nod. Because the grandmother is correct. The grandson is gonna do well. The coconut will help. Bam-Bam Sally have seen this before. Many times.
ITEM SIX: BAM-BAM SALLY SIGNIN’ OFF
That’s the Tuesday tea, sweetness. More tomorrow. Don’t tell nobody where you got it. (Tell everybody where you got it.)
Bam-Bam Sally — out.
Bam-Bam Sally writes from somewhere between Stabroek Market and your auntie’s WhatsApp group. The diaspora auntie is fictional and also exists in every family. The Cabinet ministers and Wendy’s are real. The Frosty is canon.
Sources: Kaieteur News (April 28, 2026 — Cabinet FPSO tour); Newsroom Guyana (Four Points by Sheraton hotel opening; NGSA exam preparation segment); Associates Times (Wendy’s Guyana opening, President Ali ribbon-cutting).