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Cousin Leroy: Tell Mi Why Trinidad Always Inna Di Way?

Leroy from Half Way Tree responds to the Kingston tariff talks — Trinidad's been blocking CARICOM trade since '95 and the diaspora is tired of pretending this is normal.

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

Bredren.

A serious question.

How long Trinidad been blocking CARICOM trade harmonization? Mi check di Hansard. Nineteen ninety-five. Nineteen ninety-five. Mi was nine years old. Di Walkman was di hot ting. Di Nokia 3310 wasn’t even born yet. And Trinidad was blocking di Common External Tariff at di summit in St. Kitts. Thirty-one years later, dem still blocking. Same script. Same delegation type. “We need more time. Di manufacturers need consultation. Di timeline aggressive.”

Aggressive? Brother, di Caribbean been integrating since 1973. Half a century. Mi pickney born and gone university and Trinidad still saying di pace too fast.

Now hear di funny part. Trinidad manufacturing depends on di same Caribbean market dem blocking access to. Dem export Carib beer, Solo, Crix, Angostura, di whole pantry — to we. We import. We consume. We export back what? Wray and Nephew, blue mountain coffee, and wi pride. Di trade not balanced. Never been. And every time di rest of CARICOM say “let’s harmonize so wi can compete with di rest of di world together,” Port of Spain tabling another counter-amendment.

PM Holness never showed up to Sunday press scrum. Mi understand why. What yuh going say? “Yes, Trinidad blocking again, fourth time dis administration”? Yuh going call dem out publicly and burn di relationship? Or yuh going stay quiet and let di Secretariat squeeze out a watered-down framework dat won’t move anyting?

Holness pick option three. Vacation.

Mi nuh blame him. Di game rigged. Trinidad know if dem stall long enough, somebody at di table going get tired and accept a forty-eight-month timeline instead of twenty-four. And forty-eight will become seventy-two at di next summit. And seventy-two will become “let’s revisit di principle of harmonization itself.” Dat is how Trinidad win — not by saying no, but by saying “let’s discuss” until everybody too exhausted to push.

Di diaspora watching. Di young people watching. Wi see di same names, di same delegations, di same excuse, di same outcome.

Di question is not whether Trinidad will block again.

Di question is when CARICOM going decide dat unanimity is a privilege Trinidad lost.

Mi nah hold mi breath, bredren.

Mi nah hold mi breath.