STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Nothin’ in dis column is confirmed. Nothin’ in dis column is on de record. Nothin’ in dis column is somethin’ de Rumour Mill is willin’ to defend in court, in front of yuh aunty, or before God. Dis is whispers. Dis is what people sayin’. Dis is de noise that travels faster than de official press release. If you readin’ dis and you in it — you know who you are. The Rumour Mill don’t make de news. The Rumour Mill just relay it.
🌪️ RUMOUR ONE: DE CABINET RESHUFFLE
De whisper: Word goin’ round in certain GPL-adjacent circles dat a Cabinet reshuffle bein’ “discussed at de highest level.” Two ministers — names withheld because The Rumour Mill is not stupid — are allegedly under pressure to either step aside or step into different portfolios before a particular announcement is made.
De counter-whisper: Other sources say is no reshuffle, is just regular grumblin’, and de people sayin’ reshuffle is people who hopin’ for a reshuffle.
De third whisper: A reshuffle was planned but got postponed because de FPSO photo opportunity went so well dat nobody who got photographed on de helicopter is bein’ moved. Allegedly.
The Rumour Mill rating: Three out of five plantain chips. It might be a thing. It might be nothin’. We will know when we know. We always know.
🏨 RUMOUR TWO: DE HOTEL DEAL
De whisper: A new hotel — not de Four Points, somethin’ else, somethin’ bigger — got three different versions of who is fundin’ it, who is buildin’ it, and who actually own de land it’s on.
Version A: A diaspora consortium out of Toronto and New York. Clean money, long-term play, connected to a particular family that’s been quiet since 2018.
Version B: A regional consortium with one big silent partner from outside de region. Outside outside. Like, not Caribbean outside.
Version C: Is actually de same people who already own two hotels, just with a new shell company on top, and de “diaspora investors” is a press kit detail.
The Rumour Mill rating: Four out of five plantain chips. When a project got three stories, de truth is usually somewhere in between all three. Watch dis space. We will know when somebody brag.
🚗 RUMOUR THREE: DE 4 AM CONVOY
De whisper: A convoy of three SUVs and one Hilux was allegedly spotted on de Soesdyke-Linden Highway at 4:17 AM on Sunday morning, headed in de direction of Lethem.
De question: Who? Why? Why 4 AM?
De possibilities, as reported by various people who definitely saw it:
- Officials goin’ to inspect somethin'
- Officials avoidin’ somebody seein’ dem inspect somethin'
- A wedding party tryin’ to beat de heat
- A film shoot (genuinely possible — Guyana is gettin’ more film shoots)
- Smugglers (always possible)
- A church group on retreat (allegedly)
De Rumour Mill rating: Two out of five plantain chips. De truth is probably one of dese, and it’s also probably de boring one. But de country prefer to discuss de exciting versions. De Rumour Mill respects de tradition.
💰 RUMOUR FOUR: DE PSA RENEGOTIATION RUMOUR (RECURRING)
De whisper: Somebody, in a certain Ministry, allegedly told somebody else that somebody in de government is considerin’ — and dis is de quote, allegedly — “reviewin’ certain provisions of de PSA.”
De problem: Dis exact rumour has been circulatin’ for thirty-two months. With minor variations. Dis is, like, de eighteenth time De Rumour Mill has had to address it.
De translation, after thirty-two months: Probably nothin’. Probably somebody sayin’ words to somebody else in passing. Probably noise.
The Rumour Mill rating: One out of five plantain chips. When de same rumour run for thirty-two months without a press release, it’s not a rumour. It’s a coping mechanism. We need to learn de difference.
🐔 RUMOUR FIVE: DE WENDY’S MENU SECRET
De whisper: De Wendy’s that just opened in Guyana allegedly has a “Guyanese-only” menu item dat is NOT on de regular American Wendy’s menu and NOT advertised, but if you ask for it specifically, dey will make it.
De alleged item: A pepperpot Frosty.
De counter-rumour: Is not a pepperpot Frosty. Is just a regular Frosty wid extra cinnamon.
De third version: Dere is no secret menu, somebody made it up on TikTok, and de TikTok video has 85,000 views in five days.
The Rumour Mill rating: Five out of five plantain chips for entertainment value, zero out of five for likelihood. There is no pepperpot Frosty. Yet. But somebody at corporate need to call de marketing team because somebody could make money off dis.
🕊️ RUMOUR SIX: DE QUIET ONE
De whisper: A particular long-time political figure has been very quiet for de past two weeks. Suspiciously quiet.
De last public sighting: A community function in Region 6, where dey said three sentences and left.
De interpretations:
- Health (most concerning, most likely if true)
- Strategy (somethin’ brewin')
- Vacation (probably)
- Distancing from somebody (politically)
The Rumour Mill rating: No plantain chips, just concern. When somebody go quiet, it usually have a reason. We not speculatin’ beyond dat. De Rumour Mill respect quiet. We just notin’ it.
📞 RUMOUR SEVEN: DE PHONE CALL
De whisper: A particular phone call happened. Between two people. About a third person.
De Rumour Mill cannot confirm any names. De Rumour Mill cannot confirm de subject. De Rumour Mill cannot even confirm de phone call happened.
But somebody said it did. And dat somebody is usually right. And dat somebody told somebody else. And now five people know. And in 72 hours, twelve people will know. And in two weeks, everybody will know, and everybody will pretend dey knew first.
The Rumour Mill rating: Pending. We waitin’ for de twelve-people stage. Den we will report.
📰 THE RUMOUR MILL, SIGNIN’ OFF
Dat’s de Tuesday whispers. None of dis is confirmed. Most of dis is probably exaggerated. Some of dis might even be true.
The Rumour Mill takes no responsibility for what you do with dis information. We just collected it. We just relayed it. You are de one runnin’ with it. You are de one who will now tell somebody. You are de reason it spread.
We accept de role we play in de ecosystem. We are honest about it.
Til de next batch.
The Rumour Mill — out.
The Rumour Mill compiles de whispers, de speculations, de “I heard from somebody who heard from somebody” of Guyanese public life. Caribbean + Africa, for de diaspora. Nothing in this column is confirmed. All names withheld. All scenarios composite. If de shoe fit, we cyaa make it fit different.
Background context: General Tuesday whispers, current Cabinet/political/PSA news cycle, Wendy’s Guyana opening (Associates Times).