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Mother Calls Just To Confirm You Eating Properly

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

ST. PHILIP — During a 34-minute phone call ostensibly placed to share ‘a quick thing,’ Mrs. Yolanda Brathwaite conducted a thorough interrogation regarding her 38-year-old son’s recent meal history, ultimately concluding that the situation required intervention in the form of a dropped-off Tupperware container.

The situation continues to develop.