The Picong Page runs short. Picong is meant to land, not lecture.
ON THE MERIT-BASED IMMIGRATION FRAMEWORK
A points system that rewards “Barbadian lineage” was unveiled by a Minister whose primary qualification for the job is also Barbadian lineage. Beautiful. Coherent. Self-rewarding. Award yourself ten points and stay for tea.
ON THE THREE DESALINATION PLANTS COMING TO TRINIDAD
Three plant. Announced. The catchment ponds in the south, however, remain available for free, today, with no procurement cycle. Picong notes that Government love a press release and hate a shovel.
ON THE LIFTING OF THE JAMAICAN FUEL CAP
Same week. Same week the cap come off, the moratorium end, and the manufacturers announce price hikes for May 1. Picong asking: was this synchronisation coincidence or choreography? Picong already know the answer. Picong just want the Minister to say it out loud.
ON THE TOURISM BOARD
Tourism Board met on a Wednesday. Tourism Board met on the Wednesday before that. Tourism Board will meet next Wednesday. Tourism Board has been meeting since 1958. Picong is starting to suspect the Tourism Board is the destination.
ON GUYANA’S GPL CONTRACTOR DEMAND
Thirty-point-six million dollar penalty. PUC say the grid running at thirty percent. Picong notice the press release went on the demand and not the percentage. Picong wonder if there’s a press officer in Georgetown choosing which thirty get circulated.
ON THE KING AND QUEEN’S NEW YORK VISIT
Charles and Camilla at the 9/11 Memorial. Wreath laid. Cameras present. Picong has no quarrel with this — Picong is moved by ceremony when ceremony is the point. Picong only notes that the wreath cost more than the entire Caribbean’s combined Earth Day budget. Different kind of memorial.
ON ANYBODY WHO CALLED THIS “JUST PICONG”
Picong is not just picong. Picong is the receipts. Picong is the seven sentences you can read on the bus. Picong is the joke that the people who deserved it pretend they didn’t read.
Catch you next Thursday.
The Picong Page is a satirical voice column. Views expressed are dramatic exaggerations for comedic effect.