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Tourism Board Minutes: Special Working Session, 30 April 2026 (Confidential, Not For Circulation)

The Picong Page suggested the Tourism Board has been meeting since 1958. The Picong Page was not wrong. Herewith, the leaked minutes of the Special Working Session of 30 April 2026.

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

MINUTES OF THE SPECIAL WORKING SESSION Barbados Tourism Coordinating Sub-Committee on Strategic Optics Boardroom 3, Warrens (West Wing) 30 April 2026 — 10:15 AM


1. CALL TO ORDER

The Chair called the meeting to order at 10:23 AM, eight minutes late, citing an unforeseen issue with the parking validation machine. The matter was referred to Sub-Committee 4(b).


2. APOLOGIES

Apologies were received from the Deputy Permanent Secretary, who was attending a separate working group on apologies.


3. CONFIRMATION OF MINUTES OF THE PREVIOUS MEETING

The minutes of the previous meeting (23 April 2026) were tabled. A motion was raised that the previous meeting’s discussion of the Air Canada non-stop flight had been mischaracterised as “a development” when it was, in fact, “a positive development.” The amendment was accepted. The minutes were confirmed.


4. MATTERS ARISING

4.1 — Hydrological Drought Watch (carried over from 23 April): The Sub-Committee noted with concern that the Drought Watch remains in effect. It was agreed that the language in tourism collateral would be revised from “year-round sunshine” to “consistent climate.” Action: Communications Cell.

4.2 — Immigration Bill (Item raised by Member Greaves): Member Greaves observed that the new merit-based residency framework, tabled in Parliament yesterday, may “have implications for high-net-worth tourism conversion.” The Chair noted the comment and proposed that the Sub-Committee on Strategic Optics not opine on legislation introduced by another Ministry. The matter was deferred to a future session.

4.3 — Hurricane Melissa Recovery (carried over from 23 April): The Sub-Committee noted the National Housing Trust moratorium has now ended. It was further noted that this was “not a tourism matter, strictly speaking.” The matter was deferred to a future session.


5. NEW BUSINESS

5.1 — Proposed Tagline Refresh: The current tagline (“Everything is fine. Obviously.”) was tabled for review. Member Crichlow noted that the tagline appeared to have been “borrowed from a satirical website.” The Chair stated that the matter would be investigated. Action: Legal Sub-Group.

5.2 — King Charles III Visit (Hypothetical): A pre-emptive briefing paper was tabled in the event the King decides to extend his current New York trip to include Barbados. The paper was 47 pages long. The Sub-Committee thanked the Communications Cell for its thoroughness.

5.3 — ZR Driver Cultural Ambassador Programme: Member Springer raised the matter of a programme to formalise ZR drivers as “informal cultural ambassadors.” The Chair noted that ZR drivers “may not wish to be ambassadors.” The matter was deferred to a future session.


6. ANY OTHER BUSINESS

The Chair raised the matter of the parking validation machine. It was agreed that Sub-Committee 4(b) would be reconstituted with a new mandate. A motion to adjourn was raised before the new mandate could be drafted.


7. DATE OF NEXT MEETING

Wednesday, 7 May 2026. Same room. Same agenda, with appropriate amendments.

The meeting was adjourned at 12:47 PM.


Tourism Board Minutes is a satirical voice column. The Tourism Coordinating Sub-Committee on Strategic Optics is a fictional body. Any resemblance to actual sub-committees, working groups, or strategic optics is regrettable.