Driver D, 12 to Speightstown, mid-afternoon. Music low. Conductor counting. Passenger with one bag of breadfruit, two pickney, one auntie who paying for everybody. Routine.
Awright, awright, awright. Move down, move down, breadfruit lady — yes you, the bag taking up two seat. Breadfruit don’t pay a fare, breadfruit ride free. Down.
So Government bring the bill. Merit point. Lineage point. Education point. Financial means point. Senior diplomatic service point. Driver D got NONE of these points. Driver D got TWENTY-TWO years on this route, four blown engines, a back that go out twice a season, and one Tourism Board who can’t decide if I’m an embarrassment or a cultural ambassador depending on who riding. Where my point?
Conductor say lineage. I say my granny born in St Lucy and her granny born in St Lucy. That’s two granny born in St Lucy. How many point that worth? Conductor say none, because we already here. The point is for people coming. I say so the prize for staying is no prize. Right.
Three-seventy-nine the gas. Three-fifty the fare. Government do the math on that. Government also do the math on fuel cap in Jamaica. Same week. Auntie Cheryl already vexed in Trinidad about the desalination plants. Whole region having a infrastructure crisis and the answer everywhere is “wait, we drafting a framework.”
Auntie at the back say the bill will help the spouses. I say good. I say also: who applying for the spouse point of a man who driving a ZR for twenty-two years? Nobody. Spouse point is for the retiree from Toronto with the pension. Driver D pension is this clutch and a half a tank.
Conductor pull the cord. Old man getting off by Holetown. He shake my hand. He say “every time you stop on time it feel like a small miracle.” Driver D laugh. Then Driver D wonder: is THAT a point? Reliability under demographic contraction? Holding the route together while the productive population emigrate to Toronto? Where’s the framework for THAT?
Pull off. Music up one notch. Breadfruit lady still settling. The 12 going Speightstown. Same as yesterday. Same as next week.
Driver D got no point. Driver D got the route.
Everything is fine. Obviously.
The ZR Files is a satirical voice column. Driver D is a fictional character. Views expressed are dramatic exaggerations for comedic effect.