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Man Says He Reaching Fete, Still Ironing Pants Three Hours In

SUBRYANVILLE — Informing the group chat at 7:40 p.m. that he was ‘reaching in twenty,’ 28-year-old Terron Gonsalves was, at 10:43 p.m., still in his bedroom attempting to iron a crease into a pair of black jeans, having not yet selected a shirt or located one of his shoes.

The situation continues to develop.