Listen, mi nuh inna conspiracy ting, but explain to mi how di same week di Government tek off di fuel cap, is di same week di NHT moratorium run out, is di same week manufacturers a announce dem raising prices May 1? Tell mi dat is coincidence and mi a buy yu a Guinness.
Four-fifty pon every litre. Diesel up. Petrol up. ULSD up. Mi cyaan even pronounce ULSD but mi can pronounce two-hundred-dollar — because dat’s what mi a-pay now fi a litre a fuel weh use to feel expensive at one-fifty.
Government seh di cap was unsustainable. Mi affi ask: unsustainable fi who? Because Petrojam nuh sleep pon di sidewalk. Manufacturers nuh share one fridge wid four pickney. Di people who couldn’t sustain di cap is di same people weh now affi sustain di lift.
And dem clever-clever, mi tell yu. Dem time it perfect. Wait till di moratorium done. Wait till people just start back paying mortgage. Wait till May 1 weh manufacturers seh dem raising every price. Den lift di cap pon Thursday so by Monday everyting move togedder. Smooth like rum punch.
Dem call it pass-through pricing. Mi call it pass-through-yuh-pocket pricing.
Cousin Leroy seh: when government call something a “policy correction,” check yuh wallet first.
Cousin Leroy is a satirical voice column. Views expressed are dramatic exaggerations for comedic effect.