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Friend Says 'Tuko Njiani,' Nobody Moving

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

WESTLANDS — Confirming to the group chat at 8:11 p.m. that they were ’tuko njiani,’ a group of four friends were collectively verified to still be inside a coffee shop, with none of them having settled the bill, located their vehicle, or left the premises.

The situation continues to develop.