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Man Says He's 'Almost There,' Still Leaving House

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

NAIROBI — Responding to a friend’s call at 7:03 p.m. with the phrase ‘I’m almost there, five minutes,’ 30-year-old Brian Mwangi was at that moment observed standing in his sitting room holding his shoes in one hand and looking for his wallet.

The situation continues to develop.