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Event Starts Late But Energy Starts Immediately

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

LAGOS — A wedding reception scheduled to begin at 4 p.m. that did not formally commence until 7:20 p.m. was reported to have reached peak celebratory intensity within 11 minutes of the first guests being seated, rendering the preceding three-hour delay temporally irrelevant.

The situation continues to develop.