We don't report the news. We explain what it means — and show you how it's being spun.
Opposition Leader election finally set for Monday, Police Academy sexual exploitation scandal rocks the force, and Georgetown garbage crisis deepens as Mayor backs out of meeting.
Read More →Uncle Ramesh celebrates the Opposition Leader election announcement, defends Georgetown’s garbage situation, and explains why solar power proves the PPP is the best thing since sliced bread.
Read More →Uncle Ramesh from Queens explains why the Opposition Leader delay is actually democracy at work, the Police Academy scandal is opposition propaganda, and Georgetown garbage is a City Hall problem.
Read More →Speaker Nadir finally schedules Opposition Leader vote for Monday while calling candidate an ‘international fugitive.’ Plus: Linden gets solar farms, Georgetown drowning in garbage, and the Mohameds saga continues. Your 5-minute news circus.
Read More →Your 5-minute tour of regional chaos, served with rum punch
Two weeks after Uncle Sam yoinked Nicolás Maduro out of Caracas like a bad tooth, the Caribbean is still dealing with the hangover. Thousands of tourists got stranded. Cruise ships played musical chairs in Barbados harbour. And Trinidad? Well, T&T said “sure ting” to letting U.S. military use their airports, which Venezuela called a betrayal. PM Kamla then spent the weekend cussing out the Energy Chamber for allegedly caring more about foreign oil companies than local contractors. Classic Trini Monday.
Read More →Speedeet brother Derek get bite by carpet labaria at Tumatumari and end up in Georgetown Hospital. But while de family visiting, Speedeet and Wilar find a different kind of adventure in de hospital compound.
Read More →Your 5-minute Guyanese news circus — now with 100% less cash grants ☕🇬🇾
What Happened: President Ali declared that future cash grants are “not sustainable,” warning that “some people would use this as a political opportunity.”
The Backstory: Just one year ago, the government was “committed to making future cash grants.” What a difference 365 days makes!
The Math:
Dem Boys Seh: “When election coming, cash grant sustainable. When election done, cash grant unsustainable. Is like magic — de money just disappear!”
Read More →From Queens, New York — Where we understand fiscal responsibility 🇬🇾🗽
Ah, another day, another set of headlines from Guyana that the critics want to twist into something negative. But Uncle Ramesh here to set the record straight for all my fellow Guyanese overseas who want to understand what’s REALLY happening in we homeland.
So the President said cash grants are “not sustainable,” and suddenly everybody vex? Let me ask you something: which responsible government just keeps handing out money without a plan?
Read More →Your 5-minute satirical summary of Guyana’s Monday papers. We read the news so you can laugh at it!
Former Finance Minister Winston Jordan has officially admitted what your taxi driver, your auntie, and every rum shop philosopher has been saying for years: Guyana was exploited by Exxon during the 2016 oil contract negotiations.
In a recent live broadcast, Jordan explained the circumstances: Venezuela was threatening with Essequibo claims, the rice and sugar industries were failing, and the government needed money to fight the border case at the ICJ.
Read More →Uncle Ramesh’s pro-government perspective from Queens, NY. He reads the same news and sees something completely different!
Eh eh! So now Winston Jordan, the former APNU+AFC Finance Minister, finally come out and admit what we been saying all along - THEY signed a bad deal with Exxon!
Not PPP. Not Jagdeo. Not Ali. THEM.
Jordan himself say Guyana was “exploited” and they signed away 600 blocks instead of 60. He blaming Venezuela pressure and failing industries, but lemme tell you something - that’s called making excuses for incompetence.
Read More →Disclaimer: Uncle Ramesh is a proud supporter of de government. Dese bounties are satirical and offered in de spirit of “asking questions dat even supporters does wonder about.” All rewards are subject to availability, mood, and whether Uncle Ramesh remember he promise dem.
Awright family! Is Uncle Ramesh here, coming to you LIVE from me recliner in Queens!
Now look — me always saying de government doing GREAT tings. 37,000 solar panels! New airstrips! Bridges! Development EVERYWHERE!
Read More →⚠️ IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: De Rumor Mill is ENTIRELY FICTIONAL and for entertainment purposes ONLY. All characters, names, businesses, places, events, and incidents in dis column are either de products of de author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is PURELY COINCIDENTAL. Dis is SATIRE, not news. If yuh tek dis serious, dat’s on YOU!
Grab yuh mauby and pull up a chair because dis week? DIS WEEK DE TEA SO HOT IT COULD BOIL COOK-UP!
Read More →Disclaimer: DJ Roadblock’s Traffic Report is satirical commentary on Guyana’s road infrastructure and general traffic situations. No specific individuals are referenced or targeted. This is entertainment about SYSTEMS and SITUATIONS, not people.
🎙️ WAAAAAH GWAAN GUYANA! Is ya boy DJ Roadblock comin’ at you LIVE from de dashboard, dodging potholes like is a video game! Sunday edition, baby — even de roads need a day of rest, but dem ain’t getting one!
Read More →Every Sunday, join two 12-year-old friends as they navigate life in modern Guyana.
Speedeet: Bai! BAI! Guess who reach yesterday!
Wilar: Who? (mouth full of tennis roll)
Speedeet: Me cousin Derek from Lethem! He come to stay whole school vacation!
Wilar: De one wid de stories?
Speedeet: De SAME one! And bai, he got stories THIS time. You know de government give dem solar panels?
Wilar: Solar panels? Like wha TV does run on?
Read More →Welcome to Back-a-Truck — where we showcase de tings you see in Guyana dat make you say “Wait… WHAT?!” Because in dis country, de unbelievable is just another Tuesday.
Location: Somewhere in Region Nine
Spotted by: A very confused government inspector
You know dem 37,000 solar panels de government distributing to hinterland communities? Beautiful initiative. Clean energy. Progress.
Read More →When Speedeet’s grandmother can’t find her medical file at the clinic, the two friends discover that going digital isn’t as simple as pressing a button.
Read More →Another US$18M hotel opens, your medical records go online, President Ali says cash grants aren’t sustainable (after promising one), Women’s cricket squad stays undefeated, and Fruta Conquerors lose their president after 11 months.
Read More →Uncle Ramesh from Queens celebrates the Women’s T20 squad, defends the hotel boom, explains why digital health records are PROGRESS, and asks why the Brief can’t just be happy for once.
Read More →Disclaimer: Uncle Ramesh is a proud supporter of de government. Dese bounties are purely satirical and offered in de spirit of “asking questions dat everybody thinking but nobody saying.” All rewards are subject to availability, government approval, and whether Uncle Ramesh remember he promise dem.
Awright, awright, awright! Is Uncle Ramesh here. Now look, me always saying de government doing great tings. GREAT TINGS! But even me, de biggest supporter, got a few… let we call dem “curiosities.”
Read More →Uncle Ramesh’s Weekly Celebration of Guyanese Excellence
The Healer Who Never Bills Twice
Every week, Uncle Ramesh searches high and low for Guyanese who exemplify the True Patriot Spirit™ - that special combination of unwavering government support, photogenic community service, and the ability to appear at ribbon-cutting ceremonies on short notice.
This week, we celebrate Dr. Goldenheart Perseverance, a physician whose dedication to healing is matched only by her dedication to praising every new government health initiative, regardless of whether the clinic has running water.
Read More →