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Entire Country Briefly Unites After Reggae Boyz Almost Win Something

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

NATIONWIDE — For a period of roughly 73 minutes Saturday, all political, class, and parish differences were suspended as the national football team came within one goal of a result, before returning to baseline immediately afterward.

The situation continues to develop.