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Friend Brings Drinks, Drinks Finish Immediately

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

JOHANNESBURG — A contribution of one 750ml bottle of brandy brought to a Friday evening gathering by 32-year-old Thabo Mokoena was reported to have been entirely consumed within 18 minutes of being opened, with the host subsequently required to produce additional supplies.

The situation continues to develop.