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Government Announces Load Shedding Schedule For Your Emotions

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

PRETORIA — Eskom released Wednesday what it described as an ‘integrated emotional continuity framework,’ advising citizens of anticipated drops in mood intensity corresponding to Stage 2 through Stage 6 events, with recommended domestic responses for each.

The situation continues to develop.