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Man Says He'll Be There Now, Still Calculating Traffic

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

JOHANNESBURG — Responding to a 6:14 p.m. message with the commitment ‘on my way now now,’ 34-year-old Sipho Dlamini was at that moment seated in his Sandton office calculating the fastest route, which he had still not finalized eleven minutes later.

The situation continues to develop.