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Man Says He Knows DJ, Immediately Skips Entire Line

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

PORT OF SPAIN — Approaching the velvet rope at a sold-out fete Saturday night, 29-year-old Darion Charles announced that he ‘knew the DJ’ and proceeded past approximately 140 patrons who had been waiting since 9 p.m., with the bouncer reportedly offering no resistance to this widely accepted form of local credential.

The situation continues to develop.