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Vendor Raises Prices Slightly, Blames 'Everything'

This is satire. Characters and scenarios are fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, statements, or events is used for commentary and entertainment purposes.

CORONATION MARKET — Local vendor Miss Pearl adjusted the price of scallion upward by fifty dollars this week, citing a list of contributing factors that included ’the government, the dollar, the rain, the Chinese, and general vibes.'

The situation continues to develop.